So, why aren't I running? As I walked to church this morning, I was a wee bit chilly. By the way, I totally love that I can walk to church. Anyhow, like I was saying, I was kind of cold. Then I realised it was perfect running weather. My favourite running weather, really. Mid 50's, overcast, slight breeze....doesn't get much better.
I've only run a few times since I've been here. Those of you who know me well, know that running has been an important outlet for me over the past few years. Creating schedules, setting goals, following a plan. It's also been a social part of my life. Running and traveling with friends. I miss it, I miss them. It's been hard for me to make good use of my time since moving here. The time exists, I am wasting it. Procrastination...another one of my many flaws. There is a verse in Hebrews 12 that says "Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." This holds so many levels for me. I feel like I've been failing on the perseverance front in many ways. Not just running, but as a mother, as a wife, spiritually. However, I'm still standing and I know why. There are many things I could have done better during this transition time. There are many things I need to work on.
I am working on them, even if no one else can see what I'm doing. Though I hope that soon they will. I am trying to be more patient with my family and with myself. I am trying to change the environment in my home from reactive to responsive. It is NOT easy. I fail daily. The stress of this move has set me back. I am by nature a reactor. I know that when I am taking care of myself by running and going to church, I will be able to take care of others in a kinder, gentler way.
Note to self. Get off your arse and start running. You and the people around you will be happier.
Observation: There are a hell of a lot of snails in England. ;-)
Hey Julie! I'm glad I finally have time to read your blog. I love it, and I love your honesty. <3
ReplyDeleteThank you. :) It's amazing how good it feels to just put it out there.
DeleteYou Brit you! You spelled favorite the fancy way :)
ReplyDeleteWe are both non-running runners. But even not running, we are still runners. It defines us ... the ability to move our bodies in a fluid motion. Think how fluid a river is as it ebbs and flows. That's where we are now ... in an ebb. Something is drawing me lately to the Psalms. There's so much joy there! Another runner and I were talking about her fear of hills yesterday and this is the Psalm she came up with. It works for you as well ... Verse 3 says "The Lord will not let you stumble." I hear this in your post .. this fear of stumbling. So remember, He will not let you :) You're just in an ebb. You will flow again when you're ready.
Psalm 121
1 I look up to the mountains—
does my help come from there?
2 My help comes from the Lord,
who made heaven and earth!
3 He will not let you stumble;
the one who watches over you will not slumber.
4 Indeed, he who watches over Israel
never slumbers or sleeps.
5 The Lord himself watches over you!
The Lord stands beside you as your protective shade.
6 The sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon at night.
7 The Lord keeps you from all harm
and watches over your life.
8 The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and go,
both now and forever.
I can't take credit for the spelling. My UK IP address hooks me up to UK spell check. I figure..when in Rome... and all that.
DeleteThank you for reading and for the encouragement. That psalm also reminds me of Romans 8:31 What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?
In a few years we'll get to run together. :) Well, I'll probably watch your back as you speed away from me! lol