The picturesque scenery and the adventures to come will totally rock. I know that they will. However, in the spirit of keeping it real, I'm a little depressed and a lot homesick. I have a hard time getting up in the morning. Many days I cringe at the thought. Don't get me wrong, I know this is where I'm supposed to be. It's hard for me to explain how I know that, but I know it deep down inside. This is a journey I am meant to be on. I spent a lot of time praying before this happened and a lot more now that it has! I'm growing and changing daily. That doesn't mean it's easy or fun. Sometimes it is.
Before we left, a lot of people commented that at least there wasn't a language barrier, but that's not entirely true. They do speak English over here, of course, but there are a lot of variations and accents. There have been many times when I've actually had to stop and think about what was said to make sure I understood. I'm pretty good at using context clues, so that is helpful.
I think one of the hardest parts for me, a self-proclaimed introvert, is the feeling of sticking out. I'm a blend in kind of gal. I don't like to be the centre of attention, it makes me uncomfortable. Anytime I open my mouth in public, it is obvious I don't belong here...well...it's obvious I'm not from here. I smile and nod a lot and do my best to keep my mouth closed. Awkward. Even when I'm driving, there is no denying it. My steering wheel is on the left side. Gasp! I am thankful to live in an area with a high concentration of Americans, but blending is not going so well. ;-) I'm also thankful for the people here who have been so welcoming and have pulled me out of my comfort zone. I consider them gifts.
Taking it one day at a time. Looking on the bright side, I have a trip to Portugal planned and am in the middle of planning our first family vacation to Belgium. That is so beyond anything I ever dreamt I would be doing! God is good.
Before we left, a lot of people commented that at least there wasn't a language barrier, but that's not entirely true. They do speak English over here, of course, but there are a lot of variations and accents. There have been many times when I've actually had to stop and think about what was said to make sure I understood. I'm pretty good at using context clues, so that is helpful.
I think one of the hardest parts for me, a self-proclaimed introvert, is the feeling of sticking out. I'm a blend in kind of gal. I don't like to be the centre of attention, it makes me uncomfortable. Anytime I open my mouth in public, it is obvious I don't belong here...well...it's obvious I'm not from here. I smile and nod a lot and do my best to keep my mouth closed. Awkward. Even when I'm driving, there is no denying it. My steering wheel is on the left side. Gasp! I am thankful to live in an area with a high concentration of Americans, but blending is not going so well. ;-) I'm also thankful for the people here who have been so welcoming and have pulled me out of my comfort zone. I consider them gifts.
Taking it one day at a time. Looking on the bright side, I have a trip to Portugal planned and am in the middle of planning our first family vacation to Belgium. That is so beyond anything I ever dreamt I would be doing! God is good.
Grow where you are planted. You can do this. The beauty of your post is that you know yourself so well that you are able to do easily articulate where your depression is stemming from. That's half the battle. I just know that you will look back on this experience with fondness, if not love. Thinking of you and praying the days get easier.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Elaine. Things have been a lot more of an adjustment than I expected, but I'm still standing. :)
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